who gets the dog?
it was theo's mom's idea. "she saw it on craigslist," he told us while we were on a three-way conference call, like i used to do in 8th grade. it was the summer before we all moved in together, the summer before our senior year of college. the three of us spent hours, dozens and dozens of hours, on the phone together that summer planning our parties, our movie nights, our kitchen table and our sofa and what we would hang on the walls.
wiley had moved into our new house first, he was the only one who had even seen it. it was wiley and wiley alone who had searched for houses, taken pictures and videos of each and emailed them to us daily.
"this is it," he said behind the camera as he shakily filmed a sunshine colored house in glendale with a green front yard and a breakfast nook. "this is where we're going to live."
i stayed up late each night, in the guest bedroom of my parents new house in san francisco, reading through the emails and looking at all he had seen. i imagined a montage of the three of us in the sunshine house-- toasting martinis, dancing to the smiths, spraying a hose at each other in the front yard on a hot day.
but i got another email from wiley. "i know i've said this before but this was really is it." a domed ceiling, a deck, a steep backyard for slip n slides.
he photoshopped the three of us into a picture of the deck with the words "Seasons Greetings! From our home to yours! Love, Wiley, Theo and Ariel."
we got in a fight about why he would list me last. "You're a misogynist. I don't even want a fucking christmas card." i knew he did it on purpose, i knew he knew what i would say, and i knew i was playing into his desperate need to rile me up. but i still couldn't resist. he sent us another, re-photoshopped card with a huge me and two tiny thems standing to either side that read "Holidays are a patriarchal construct. In the name of Womyn everywhere, Ariel (and her pets Wiley and Theo.)"
i called him and we howled with laughter.
the next day we got a final email from wiley. the subject line read: "welcome home" and the body of the email included three pictures of the house, the price, and a sentence that said "i signed the lease today."
panicked, i called theo. "have you talked to him? do you think this is real? he can't of just signed the lease."
theo, calm, sarcastic, unflappable theo, said "yes, yes, and thats not true. he did sign the lease, with leslie as the co-signer."
i hung up and called wiley in tears.
"how could you have done this! without asking? who do you think you are?! and getting your mom to co-sign? really?"
"just calm down lil darling. pack your car and come to LA and you'll see why."
we didnt speak for two weeks, until i got a call from theo, who had wiley on the line.
"my mom found this listing on craigslist: 'new animal planet reality show is looking for a non-traditional family to compete with two other groups for the chance to take home a shelter dog.' i think we should do it."
"we are clearly doing it," wiley said.
"um, what the fuck? a) i dont really want a dog."
"what's b?" wiley said.
"i just...i just hate you guys sometimes."
wiley let out a falsetto "yee haw" and said "thats a yes, man! thats a yes!"
"we have to go to the studio for an interview next week. when are you coming down?"
the studio was on the 20th floor of a shiny building in burbank. i drove in from san francisco and met them there, without seeing the house first. the day was brutally hot, i had forgotten what heat the blindingly grey sky gives off. i was still playacting mad at them, and they were playacting gratitude for my benevolence. we sat in a room and waited until a camera man and a tiny, blonde, tan woman wearing a proper suit came in and sat down at the table across from us. she was the producer, and was going to ask us a few questions about ourselves.
"first of all, tell me what you all do."
theo and wiley's faces were blank. i took over.
"well, we are all seniors at the university of southern california. i'm studying to be a writer, and theo and wiley are in film school." i smiled. she smiled. "very good!" she said, as if i was a four year old who had counted to ten.
"and you all live together?"
"yes," theo began, and his voice was so deep and serious that it caused both wiley and i to hiccup with laughter. "we have just moved into a new house in echo park. it is very nice."
"mmm kay. now tell me, why do you all want a dog?"
wiley began to talk and his hands, long fingered and expressive, came alive. "we want a dog because we feel we are responsible enough to take care of an animal and we all three love animals and since we now have a nice, big space for him we feel that now is absolutely the right time."
"well then," the tiny lady producer said and glanced over at the cameraman, "i have to say you all make a very good looking group." we looked at each other and beamed.
"i think we would like to extend the opportunity for you all to be on the show."
"reeeeally!?" i said, while theo exclaimed, still in his serious voice, "that is wonderful!" and wiley just hissed "yessss!"
she laughed. "yes, really. i will be in touch in the next few days to discuss the details of filming. thank you so much for stopping by and i look forward to working with you!"
we pawed all over each other in the elevator, bursting with carbonated giddiness and unable to stop laughing. i followed wiley's volvo back to our new house, which sat atop a twisting, potholed street in the dead center of echo park. it was adorable, and the inside was like a spanish villa, tiled, pristine, full of light. an upstairs balcony overlooked the living room, which had a fire place and sliding glass doors that led to a wooden deck and views of the hollywood hills. wiley had claimed the entire downstairs floor, which was meant as a den.
"this will be where we have our movie nights, so it will be a social area."
theo and i looked at each other skeptically, he was only paying $100 a month more than us? but for now the unbridled joy of this new life trumped any feelings of anger at him.
plus, my room was perfect. it had a huge closet and three big windows and a non-working fireplace and a bathroom with a jacuzzi bath and a separate shower. i squealed with delight and clapped my hands.
"i knew you would love it." wiley said. "it just had 'ariel' written all over it."
i hugged him tight and we jumped up and down and theo tackled us and we kept jumping and twirling around and theo squeezed us with his short, strong arms and i was laughing so hard it was like i was being tickled and when we finally stopped we were all crying, just a little.
that night our friends lauren and liz came over. liz had just gotten back from hawaii and had brought us a sand bucket full of mini flavored vodkas.
"what's so hawaii about these?" i asked her. we were all sitting on the wood floor of the balcony, drinking champagne.
"um," she lit her cigarette and exhaled, "the bucket."
the only room that was set up was ryan's so we went downstairs and jumped on his bed and played the strokes and lou reed and david bowie really loudly and played twister in our socks on the hardest tile floor i had ever felt, and lauren slipped and hit her head and she played dead for so long that liz freaked out and started to dial 911. when she popped up and said she was just kidding liz slapped her in the face and at first it looked like lauren was going to cry but instead she held her cheek and laughed.
we drank the flavored vodkas, which were so sweet and unnatural tasting that it caused us all to gag. wiley and i sat on the upstairs area we called the porte cochere, though we had no idea what that actually meant. when we were alone we wouldn't start a fight, but the second theo came upstairs and sat with us it gave us the safety to rip into each other, which we were so good at doing.
"i like the house but im sorry," i said and laughed meanly, "that was so dumb of you to sign the lease without us, so dumb wiley, and i think i speak for both theo and myself when i say that you need to be paying a hell of a lot more than $900 for that space downstairs."
wiley's voice rose and his eyes bulged and his hands, with a cigarette in between two fingers, went flying. "YOU DID NOTHING! NEITHER OF YOU DID ANYTHING! if it weren't for me not only would we not have this amazing, this BEAUTIFUL HOUSE we would have nowhere to live! we would have been stuck in some shitty apartment in korea town or we would have had to split up because we couldn't find anywhere big enough! do you not understand that ariel? do you really not understand that?"
"ok wiley, ok, so what you're saying is that because you were in LA all summer and had the time to look for apartments you now have the right to do whatever the fuck you want? you can now just MAKE the rules up because you happened to be here all summer?"
"yes. fuck it, that is exactly what i'm saying."
"if you hadn't taken over we WOULD have come down to look! you wanted to do this, you had nothing else to do!"
lauren and liz wandered halfway upstairs. lauren said, "ok, we're going now. don't fight on your first night here."
we kept at it for hours, constantly asking theo to get involved. he would try to rationalize, try to explain each side to the other one even though he knew, he knew long ago, that was not how our fights worked. we worked ourselves into tears and then, just like that it was over. we had exhausted it. we couldn't go any further. we had scratched the itch.
the three of us wandered downstairs. we would have to all sleep in the same bed, since it was the only piece of furniture in the house. we got in with our clothes on. i was in the middle.
the crews came five days later to start filming. three cameramen and a production person came at 8am to start setting up. the production person, a middle aged woman with tattoos and pincurls, told me to change my jeans. "this is animal planet, not MTV. we don't want to see your thong."
we had gotten the house in better shape, though it still didn't look lived in. my mom had come down with some furniture for my room, and we had bought a 70's style formica kitchen table which sat in the middle of the sprawling living room, with four chairs around it. we had microphones strapped to us, and we went over what would happen during the day. soon an animal trainer and the dog, diamond arrived. he was cute, a miniature golden retriever, though they told us he was actually a mutt. wiley fawned over him, theo, who had grown up with dogs, talked to him in a baby voice, and i squatted down to pet him while trying to avoid showing thong or my natural aversion to dogs.
then the host came, a muscular woman comedian who was compelled to end each sentence with some sort of joke, regardless of it being funny or appropriate. we were told what to say when she "arrived" and had to practice many times.
doorbell rings.
the three of us open it awkwardly all trying to be in the shot.
me: "Hi!"
wiley: "welcome to our home!"
theo: "come right in!"
we sounded so fake, so stiff, that each time it kept getting funnier and we kept messing up and laughing and they had to yell cut and start all over. once we finally got that right, we were told what to say when we saw diamond for the first time, and again had to practice that repeatedly.
after we shot the scenes at our house, we went with diamond and the crew to a near by park. it was hot and bright and the park looked burnt and dead. i didnt want to be there. we had to take him in and out of cones, make him sit for a treat, and make him hop on his hind legs.
"this is inane" i whispered to theo and he put his finger on lips and widened his eyes. he really wanted this dog, i thought. this isnt a joke to him.
back at the house that afternoon, we had to sit with the host for our group interview. this was when we had to prove that we wanted diamond more than either of the other "families." wiley got animated ("we loooove the little doggy and we would be the bessst parents for him in the whole world") and theo became adamant ("there are no better parents than us. we would love and care for him more than anyone else could"). i tried not to laugh.
the camera crew left at dusk, but diamond and a nightvision camera stayed with us. the next day they would come back to pick up the camera and the dog and in a few days we would have to go somewhere with the other families to find out who got the dog.
we planned to cook a real dinner and eat it at our new kitchen table. this would prove to them that we were normal, stable and worthy of a dog. ryan made pasta and overcooked it. i set the table, theo did the filming. we sat down to eat with a bottle of wine.
at first the conversation was comically stifled. we didn't know how to be normal, we had nothing to talk about other than the dog. so we kept drinking wine and pretty soon we started talking about america, and george bush, and what will be different when kerry wins.
"the one good thing bush has done is the work in africa to eliminate AIDS," wiley said, smugly.
"and where did you read that, might i ask? because its clearly not true."
he laughed his laugh that meant, i knew this would kill you and its working. "i didnt read it anywhere."
"so what you're saying is that you have never read or heard anything about bush and AIDS in africa before, but you just know it to be true? did it come to you in a dream?"
"i didnt say i hadn't heard anything about it."
"oh goddammit this is what makes you so impossible to deal with. are we going to have a real conversation about this or are you going to be your 14 year old boy self and put your fingers in your ears?'
"yes, yes ariel i am impossible to deal with. i was just about to say, before you sort of flew off the handle there," he took a moment to look at the camera that theo was still holding and roll his eyes dramatically, "is that i saw a piece about it on PBS. bush has actually invested millions and millions of dollars in dealing with AIDS in africa"
the dog was asleep under our table.
"hmmm interesting. did PBS mention the global gag rule? which denies funding to ANY organization around the WORLD that gives out condoms?"
"no it didnt. which is terrible, obviously. but you cant deny that he has at least spent some time and energy on it."
"yes, yes i can. but thanks for asking." i swallowed half a glass of wine and said i was going to bed.
"oh i dont think so. i cooked this meal, theo's filming the whole night and youre just going to go to bed? this is why we had to throw away that pot that had the spider webby mold on it! you never do dishes!"
i looked at him with an anger that had claws. "i never do dishes? i really, really don't think you want to start THIS fight wiley! i am just refusing to do this right now! i am not having this fight for the 67th time!"
i stormed off to my room and slammed the door, wiley laughed manically and theo kept filming it all. after an hour i emerged, saw the dishes on our kitchen table that we had bought last week at an antique store, and went down to wileys room. he was playing with the dog on his bed and theo was filming it. i stood by the door for a few minutes, they knew i was there. i walked over to his closet door and opened it. i took a tie off a hanger and put it around my neck. the dog had lost interest and i knew both wiley and theo were looking at me.
i turned around.
"teach me how to do this."
wiley smiled a little, sitting cross-legged on the bed, and said "make the wide end be a lot longer than the skinny end. longer... ok stop there. now wrap the wide side around the skinny side twice. do it again but start off with the wide side. yes, thats right. now push the wide end up through the back of the knot...ok... then put the wide end through the front side of the knot. now pull down on both ends to make the knot tight. and then just pull on the skinny one.. and then to finish it off slide the knot up to your neck. there you go."
the tie was perfect, but we didn't get the dog.
wiley had moved into our new house first, he was the only one who had even seen it. it was wiley and wiley alone who had searched for houses, taken pictures and videos of each and emailed them to us daily.
"this is it," he said behind the camera as he shakily filmed a sunshine colored house in glendale with a green front yard and a breakfast nook. "this is where we're going to live."
i stayed up late each night, in the guest bedroom of my parents new house in san francisco, reading through the emails and looking at all he had seen. i imagined a montage of the three of us in the sunshine house-- toasting martinis, dancing to the smiths, spraying a hose at each other in the front yard on a hot day.
but i got another email from wiley. "i know i've said this before but this was really is it." a domed ceiling, a deck, a steep backyard for slip n slides.
he photoshopped the three of us into a picture of the deck with the words "Seasons Greetings! From our home to yours! Love, Wiley, Theo and Ariel."
we got in a fight about why he would list me last. "You're a misogynist. I don't even want a fucking christmas card." i knew he did it on purpose, i knew he knew what i would say, and i knew i was playing into his desperate need to rile me up. but i still couldn't resist. he sent us another, re-photoshopped card with a huge me and two tiny thems standing to either side that read "Holidays are a patriarchal construct. In the name of Womyn everywhere, Ariel (and her pets Wiley and Theo.)"
i called him and we howled with laughter.
the next day we got a final email from wiley. the subject line read: "welcome home" and the body of the email included three pictures of the house, the price, and a sentence that said "i signed the lease today."
panicked, i called theo. "have you talked to him? do you think this is real? he can't of just signed the lease."
theo, calm, sarcastic, unflappable theo, said "yes, yes, and thats not true. he did sign the lease, with leslie as the co-signer."
i hung up and called wiley in tears.
"how could you have done this! without asking? who do you think you are?! and getting your mom to co-sign? really?"
"just calm down lil darling. pack your car and come to LA and you'll see why."
we didnt speak for two weeks, until i got a call from theo, who had wiley on the line.
"my mom found this listing on craigslist: 'new animal planet reality show is looking for a non-traditional family to compete with two other groups for the chance to take home a shelter dog.' i think we should do it."
"we are clearly doing it," wiley said.
"um, what the fuck? a) i dont really want a dog."
"what's b?" wiley said.
"i just...i just hate you guys sometimes."
wiley let out a falsetto "yee haw" and said "thats a yes, man! thats a yes!"
"we have to go to the studio for an interview next week. when are you coming down?"
the studio was on the 20th floor of a shiny building in burbank. i drove in from san francisco and met them there, without seeing the house first. the day was brutally hot, i had forgotten what heat the blindingly grey sky gives off. i was still playacting mad at them, and they were playacting gratitude for my benevolence. we sat in a room and waited until a camera man and a tiny, blonde, tan woman wearing a proper suit came in and sat down at the table across from us. she was the producer, and was going to ask us a few questions about ourselves.
"first of all, tell me what you all do."
theo and wiley's faces were blank. i took over.
"well, we are all seniors at the university of southern california. i'm studying to be a writer, and theo and wiley are in film school." i smiled. she smiled. "very good!" she said, as if i was a four year old who had counted to ten.
"and you all live together?"
"yes," theo began, and his voice was so deep and serious that it caused both wiley and i to hiccup with laughter. "we have just moved into a new house in echo park. it is very nice."
"mmm kay. now tell me, why do you all want a dog?"
wiley began to talk and his hands, long fingered and expressive, came alive. "we want a dog because we feel we are responsible enough to take care of an animal and we all three love animals and since we now have a nice, big space for him we feel that now is absolutely the right time."
"well then," the tiny lady producer said and glanced over at the cameraman, "i have to say you all make a very good looking group." we looked at each other and beamed.
"i think we would like to extend the opportunity for you all to be on the show."
"reeeeally!?" i said, while theo exclaimed, still in his serious voice, "that is wonderful!" and wiley just hissed "yessss!"
she laughed. "yes, really. i will be in touch in the next few days to discuss the details of filming. thank you so much for stopping by and i look forward to working with you!"
we pawed all over each other in the elevator, bursting with carbonated giddiness and unable to stop laughing. i followed wiley's volvo back to our new house, which sat atop a twisting, potholed street in the dead center of echo park. it was adorable, and the inside was like a spanish villa, tiled, pristine, full of light. an upstairs balcony overlooked the living room, which had a fire place and sliding glass doors that led to a wooden deck and views of the hollywood hills. wiley had claimed the entire downstairs floor, which was meant as a den.
"this will be where we have our movie nights, so it will be a social area."
theo and i looked at each other skeptically, he was only paying $100 a month more than us? but for now the unbridled joy of this new life trumped any feelings of anger at him.
plus, my room was perfect. it had a huge closet and three big windows and a non-working fireplace and a bathroom with a jacuzzi bath and a separate shower. i squealed with delight and clapped my hands.
"i knew you would love it." wiley said. "it just had 'ariel' written all over it."
i hugged him tight and we jumped up and down and theo tackled us and we kept jumping and twirling around and theo squeezed us with his short, strong arms and i was laughing so hard it was like i was being tickled and when we finally stopped we were all crying, just a little.
that night our friends lauren and liz came over. liz had just gotten back from hawaii and had brought us a sand bucket full of mini flavored vodkas.
"what's so hawaii about these?" i asked her. we were all sitting on the wood floor of the balcony, drinking champagne.
"um," she lit her cigarette and exhaled, "the bucket."
the only room that was set up was ryan's so we went downstairs and jumped on his bed and played the strokes and lou reed and david bowie really loudly and played twister in our socks on the hardest tile floor i had ever felt, and lauren slipped and hit her head and she played dead for so long that liz freaked out and started to dial 911. when she popped up and said she was just kidding liz slapped her in the face and at first it looked like lauren was going to cry but instead she held her cheek and laughed.
we drank the flavored vodkas, which were so sweet and unnatural tasting that it caused us all to gag. wiley and i sat on the upstairs area we called the porte cochere, though we had no idea what that actually meant. when we were alone we wouldn't start a fight, but the second theo came upstairs and sat with us it gave us the safety to rip into each other, which we were so good at doing.
"i like the house but im sorry," i said and laughed meanly, "that was so dumb of you to sign the lease without us, so dumb wiley, and i think i speak for both theo and myself when i say that you need to be paying a hell of a lot more than $900 for that space downstairs."
wiley's voice rose and his eyes bulged and his hands, with a cigarette in between two fingers, went flying. "YOU DID NOTHING! NEITHER OF YOU DID ANYTHING! if it weren't for me not only would we not have this amazing, this BEAUTIFUL HOUSE we would have nowhere to live! we would have been stuck in some shitty apartment in korea town or we would have had to split up because we couldn't find anywhere big enough! do you not understand that ariel? do you really not understand that?"
"ok wiley, ok, so what you're saying is that because you were in LA all summer and had the time to look for apartments you now have the right to do whatever the fuck you want? you can now just MAKE the rules up because you happened to be here all summer?"
"yes. fuck it, that is exactly what i'm saying."
"if you hadn't taken over we WOULD have come down to look! you wanted to do this, you had nothing else to do!"
lauren and liz wandered halfway upstairs. lauren said, "ok, we're going now. don't fight on your first night here."
we kept at it for hours, constantly asking theo to get involved. he would try to rationalize, try to explain each side to the other one even though he knew, he knew long ago, that was not how our fights worked. we worked ourselves into tears and then, just like that it was over. we had exhausted it. we couldn't go any further. we had scratched the itch.
the three of us wandered downstairs. we would have to all sleep in the same bed, since it was the only piece of furniture in the house. we got in with our clothes on. i was in the middle.
the crews came five days later to start filming. three cameramen and a production person came at 8am to start setting up. the production person, a middle aged woman with tattoos and pincurls, told me to change my jeans. "this is animal planet, not MTV. we don't want to see your thong."
we had gotten the house in better shape, though it still didn't look lived in. my mom had come down with some furniture for my room, and we had bought a 70's style formica kitchen table which sat in the middle of the sprawling living room, with four chairs around it. we had microphones strapped to us, and we went over what would happen during the day. soon an animal trainer and the dog, diamond arrived. he was cute, a miniature golden retriever, though they told us he was actually a mutt. wiley fawned over him, theo, who had grown up with dogs, talked to him in a baby voice, and i squatted down to pet him while trying to avoid showing thong or my natural aversion to dogs.
then the host came, a muscular woman comedian who was compelled to end each sentence with some sort of joke, regardless of it being funny or appropriate. we were told what to say when she "arrived" and had to practice many times.
doorbell rings.
the three of us open it awkwardly all trying to be in the shot.
me: "Hi!"
wiley: "welcome to our home!"
theo: "come right in!"
we sounded so fake, so stiff, that each time it kept getting funnier and we kept messing up and laughing and they had to yell cut and start all over. once we finally got that right, we were told what to say when we saw diamond for the first time, and again had to practice that repeatedly.
after we shot the scenes at our house, we went with diamond and the crew to a near by park. it was hot and bright and the park looked burnt and dead. i didnt want to be there. we had to take him in and out of cones, make him sit for a treat, and make him hop on his hind legs.
"this is inane" i whispered to theo and he put his finger on lips and widened his eyes. he really wanted this dog, i thought. this isnt a joke to him.
back at the house that afternoon, we had to sit with the host for our group interview. this was when we had to prove that we wanted diamond more than either of the other "families." wiley got animated ("we loooove the little doggy and we would be the bessst parents for him in the whole world") and theo became adamant ("there are no better parents than us. we would love and care for him more than anyone else could"). i tried not to laugh.
the camera crew left at dusk, but diamond and a nightvision camera stayed with us. the next day they would come back to pick up the camera and the dog and in a few days we would have to go somewhere with the other families to find out who got the dog.
we planned to cook a real dinner and eat it at our new kitchen table. this would prove to them that we were normal, stable and worthy of a dog. ryan made pasta and overcooked it. i set the table, theo did the filming. we sat down to eat with a bottle of wine.
at first the conversation was comically stifled. we didn't know how to be normal, we had nothing to talk about other than the dog. so we kept drinking wine and pretty soon we started talking about america, and george bush, and what will be different when kerry wins.
"the one good thing bush has done is the work in africa to eliminate AIDS," wiley said, smugly.
"and where did you read that, might i ask? because its clearly not true."
he laughed his laugh that meant, i knew this would kill you and its working. "i didnt read it anywhere."
"so what you're saying is that you have never read or heard anything about bush and AIDS in africa before, but you just know it to be true? did it come to you in a dream?"
"i didnt say i hadn't heard anything about it."
"oh goddammit this is what makes you so impossible to deal with. are we going to have a real conversation about this or are you going to be your 14 year old boy self and put your fingers in your ears?'
"yes, yes ariel i am impossible to deal with. i was just about to say, before you sort of flew off the handle there," he took a moment to look at the camera that theo was still holding and roll his eyes dramatically, "is that i saw a piece about it on PBS. bush has actually invested millions and millions of dollars in dealing with AIDS in africa"
the dog was asleep under our table.
"hmmm interesting. did PBS mention the global gag rule? which denies funding to ANY organization around the WORLD that gives out condoms?"
"no it didnt. which is terrible, obviously. but you cant deny that he has at least spent some time and energy on it."
"yes, yes i can. but thanks for asking." i swallowed half a glass of wine and said i was going to bed.
"oh i dont think so. i cooked this meal, theo's filming the whole night and youre just going to go to bed? this is why we had to throw away that pot that had the spider webby mold on it! you never do dishes!"
i looked at him with an anger that had claws. "i never do dishes? i really, really don't think you want to start THIS fight wiley! i am just refusing to do this right now! i am not having this fight for the 67th time!"
i stormed off to my room and slammed the door, wiley laughed manically and theo kept filming it all. after an hour i emerged, saw the dishes on our kitchen table that we had bought last week at an antique store, and went down to wileys room. he was playing with the dog on his bed and theo was filming it. i stood by the door for a few minutes, they knew i was there. i walked over to his closet door and opened it. i took a tie off a hanger and put it around my neck. the dog had lost interest and i knew both wiley and theo were looking at me.
i turned around.
"teach me how to do this."
wiley smiled a little, sitting cross-legged on the bed, and said "make the wide end be a lot longer than the skinny end. longer... ok stop there. now wrap the wide side around the skinny side twice. do it again but start off with the wide side. yes, thats right. now push the wide end up through the back of the knot...ok... then put the wide end through the front side of the knot. now pull down on both ends to make the knot tight. and then just pull on the skinny one.. and then to finish it off slide the knot up to your neck. there you go."
the tie was perfect, but we didn't get the dog.
posted by Jessica Baxter | 12:12 PM
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