the microphones, "the moon" (slow version)

i wanted to see if i could remember what it felt like so i played the song. this is how it goes:
it starts of in the fetal position. it starts off all alone. it starts off scared and separated,
and then it starts hurting. it reaches in and holds the part that youre missing, the part he took away from you, the part he still has with him, where ever he is, if he ever existed, if he was ever alive,
and then it takes you back. it reminds you that he was alive, and you were once too. it takes you to coit tower. it takes you to sets of stairs and to cafe trieste at 2 am, when it was just you and him and the slinky shadows the moon made on his face as you lay in his lap, looking up.
and then the song grabs hold of that loose thread that no one can see, that is never bothered because its invisible to everyone else. it grabs it in its claws and it starts tugging at it. it starts dancing around, the song does, holding the end of the thread, like youre the pole and the song, the truth, is the tether ball. you cant go anywhere, the only thing that really ever happens to you is the ball being wound around you, flying away from you, destined to come back with an increasing momentum.
and then you let it. and then you sink. you go back with it, you stay still for it, you do whatever it wants you to do because youre so tired, youre so tired of trying to figure out what its going to do next and swallowing it whole, choking all the while but letting everyone else think its digesting like normal.
theres a moment in the song thats the equivalent of crying so hard there is no movement, no noise, no breath, no tears.
and then it leaves you, without warning, without tapering off. it just stops and youre left there, with everything you were hiding laying in front of you, heaving with the pent up energy that exists whenever an essence is disguised as periphery.
this is why you only listen to this song alone, and all the way through. this is why you only listen to it on headphones, so that it can stay just yours. this is why you listen to it in bed at night, so that your dreams can absorb what your reality simply cannot.
the song isnt whats inside. its just the key, the only copy of the key.