party trick
"are you coming tonight?"
"the last time i was there you kissed me."
"oh. on the lips?"
"i was lying in your bed. you came in. you kissed me. i think you said 'thats all.' then you ran back out. i doubted youd remember though."
"do you kiss me back?"
"it made my night."
he stared up at the naked 100 watt light bulb. he had been laying there for a long time, his hands crossed over his chest, not saying anything, not getting up to look at whoever walked in and out, not raising his head to watch them dancing or singing or trying to find some party trick to entertain people in her room. it was the first time he had been out in awhile, since christian overdosed and the world turned into one sad watery color.
he came out to her best friends party and they sat out on the fire escape in tiny chairs and she propped her feet up in his lap. she let him touch her ankles.
christian didnt die. the day he did it travis got a call and drove to the hospital. he listened to pedro the lion and didnt hurry. he didnt speed through stop lights or smoke lots of cigarettes. he didnt cry or try to understand. he drove like he was going to a show or the gas station. his windows werent even rolled down.
he had met her the year before in german class. she was pretty and sweet and it reminded him how little of those things just floated into his life. she smiled at him because she smiled at everyone and once, at a party on campus, they talked and she threw her head back and laughed and touched his arm.
and she invited him to her house for a cinco de mayo party, because one of her favorite memories, she told him via a folded note in class, was when she and her two best friends from home drove around on may 5th and screamed happy cinco de mayo. they werent drunk, they had no idea that it would seem like they were. and they walked into a mexican restaurant and started screaming it until everyone else did too.
he brought christian. on the way to her house travis had said "im in love with her," and christian knew he was serious because in their years of friendship travis had never said that before. they were listening to neil young and the heat was on in christian's car.
something about it felt scary as soon as they pulled up. christian started walking into her house before travis had gotten out of the car, christian whose usual MO was nonchalance and apathy. especially lately- he told travis about all the sexual exploits that ended with him being unable to get hard, or even aroused, in the last few months. travis said it was the drugs. christian said the drugs were the only things that worked.
but that night christian was on.
"the last time i was there you kissed me."
"oh. on the lips?"
"i was lying in your bed. you came in. you kissed me. i think you said 'thats all.' then you ran back out. i doubted youd remember though."
"do you kiss me back?"
"it made my night."
he stared up at the naked 100 watt light bulb. he had been laying there for a long time, his hands crossed over his chest, not saying anything, not getting up to look at whoever walked in and out, not raising his head to watch them dancing or singing or trying to find some party trick to entertain people in her room. it was the first time he had been out in awhile, since christian overdosed and the world turned into one sad watery color.
he came out to her best friends party and they sat out on the fire escape in tiny chairs and she propped her feet up in his lap. she let him touch her ankles.
christian didnt die. the day he did it travis got a call and drove to the hospital. he listened to pedro the lion and didnt hurry. he didnt speed through stop lights or smoke lots of cigarettes. he didnt cry or try to understand. he drove like he was going to a show or the gas station. his windows werent even rolled down.
he had met her the year before in german class. she was pretty and sweet and it reminded him how little of those things just floated into his life. she smiled at him because she smiled at everyone and once, at a party on campus, they talked and she threw her head back and laughed and touched his arm.
and she invited him to her house for a cinco de mayo party, because one of her favorite memories, she told him via a folded note in class, was when she and her two best friends from home drove around on may 5th and screamed happy cinco de mayo. they werent drunk, they had no idea that it would seem like they were. and they walked into a mexican restaurant and started screaming it until everyone else did too.
he brought christian. on the way to her house travis had said "im in love with her," and christian knew he was serious because in their years of friendship travis had never said that before. they were listening to neil young and the heat was on in christian's car.
something about it felt scary as soon as they pulled up. christian started walking into her house before travis had gotten out of the car, christian whose usual MO was nonchalance and apathy. especially lately- he told travis about all the sexual exploits that ended with him being unable to get hard, or even aroused, in the last few months. travis said it was the drugs. christian said the drugs were the only things that worked.
but that night christian was on.
posted by Jessica Baxter | 5:48 PM
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