motherhood
there were 4 of them, lined up in foldable chairs, sitting in front of us like interviewees. we do this every year, invite them to come talk to us about their situations. the girls seem to get a lot out of it, though sometimes i think we benefit more.
none of them were older than 16, and they were all pregnant. most of the girls in our program are 13 or 14, most of them know someone who is or was pregnant at their age. most of them have mothers that are only a few years older than me. this is the session called "motherhood." this, more than the HIV/AIDS or gangs or drugs sessions, is the most valuable one.
when they first come in they are timid, they wont look me in the eye, they stick together in the corner and wait for the session's facilitator to come in. bobby, a teacher at the riley school, a school for pregnant teens, comes with them every year and sits on the floor beside them, asking them questions and nodding sweetly when they answer.
bobby said once, to the girls, you have so long to be grown up. just wait. you cant be a kid if you have one.
jasmine, eight months pregnant, had her black hair slicked back in a ponytail and a tight white shirt with an oval cut out above her breasts. she, like the rest of them, constantly had her hands on her stomach, rubbing it or just resting them there. she was the first one to tell her story.
"im not with the baby's daddy anymore, he aint gonna stick around let me be the first to tell you that." she was wearing black eyeliner around her almond eyes. her lips would purse after every sentence. "when i told my momma, she said i was the hope...you know, like the hope for the family since everyone else had screwed up and my brother in jail." she looked at bobby, they generally do when they've said something brave and need her to reassure them that it was the right thing to say. bobby always makes eye contact and nods, nods like "keep going, keep being honest. they need that." im not sure if she knows that i need it too, that all of the mentors need it just as much as the girls do. i bet she does.
jaelicia, a black girl with tiny extremities and a stomach like a basketball under her tank top, talked next. she looked down and had a lollipop in one hand. bobby asked her what her mother did when she told her.
"she tole me once if i got pregnant to move my stuff out and just get out, that she didnt want me no more. so when i started getting sick in the mornings, every morning, my babys daddy said youre pregnant girl. so we went to the clinic and the test was positive, which was the worst moment of my life. and i went back home, got out my suitcase, and started packing. my momma came in and said "whatchu doin jae?" and i said
someones trying to kill me.
and she said "that aint the truth." she knew, mommas know. and i tole her yes it was, and i had to get out of there. and she grabbed me by my face and said "you glowin. you pregnant." and i didnt say anything and she let my face go and left my room. she went out the front door and she went down to alberto's down the street and she got drunk. she got so drunk. she was 15 when she had me, i was 15 then."
jaelicia put the lollipop in her mouth. she looked up at us. one hand was on her pregnant stomach.
"i didnt leave just yet. i waited for her to come back and when she did all she said was "you arent droppin out of school.""
bobby asked them how it happened. denise, a 16 year old who's baby had just been born, talked first.
"i met this guy, a gang banger i thought he was so fine, and i waited you know, i waited almost a year to sleep with him. and we always used condoms man, every time. but after a while you dont have one and you say, "well, oh well. this time." and after enough of those times, you will be pregnant." she stopped and nodded. "you will be pregnant."
jaelicia said, "everyone said they were doin it. i mean everyone! and everyone was all "its so good its the best thing ever." and my boyfriend had never done it either so we tried it since it was supposed to be so great." she put the lollipop back in her mouth and didnt look up.
karen, a 14 year old who was just beginning to show, rubbed the dune of her stomach with both hands and said in a tiny voice, "it aint so great."
jasmine shook her head. "it sure aint great enough for this." and made circles with her palms on her unborn child.
none of them were older than 16, and they were all pregnant. most of the girls in our program are 13 or 14, most of them know someone who is or was pregnant at their age. most of them have mothers that are only a few years older than me. this is the session called "motherhood." this, more than the HIV/AIDS or gangs or drugs sessions, is the most valuable one.
when they first come in they are timid, they wont look me in the eye, they stick together in the corner and wait for the session's facilitator to come in. bobby, a teacher at the riley school, a school for pregnant teens, comes with them every year and sits on the floor beside them, asking them questions and nodding sweetly when they answer.
bobby said once, to the girls, you have so long to be grown up. just wait. you cant be a kid if you have one.
jasmine, eight months pregnant, had her black hair slicked back in a ponytail and a tight white shirt with an oval cut out above her breasts. she, like the rest of them, constantly had her hands on her stomach, rubbing it or just resting them there. she was the first one to tell her story.
"im not with the baby's daddy anymore, he aint gonna stick around let me be the first to tell you that." she was wearing black eyeliner around her almond eyes. her lips would purse after every sentence. "when i told my momma, she said i was the hope...you know, like the hope for the family since everyone else had screwed up and my brother in jail." she looked at bobby, they generally do when they've said something brave and need her to reassure them that it was the right thing to say. bobby always makes eye contact and nods, nods like "keep going, keep being honest. they need that." im not sure if she knows that i need it too, that all of the mentors need it just as much as the girls do. i bet she does.
jaelicia, a black girl with tiny extremities and a stomach like a basketball under her tank top, talked next. she looked down and had a lollipop in one hand. bobby asked her what her mother did when she told her.
"she tole me once if i got pregnant to move my stuff out and just get out, that she didnt want me no more. so when i started getting sick in the mornings, every morning, my babys daddy said youre pregnant girl. so we went to the clinic and the test was positive, which was the worst moment of my life. and i went back home, got out my suitcase, and started packing. my momma came in and said "whatchu doin jae?" and i said
someones trying to kill me.
and she said "that aint the truth." she knew, mommas know. and i tole her yes it was, and i had to get out of there. and she grabbed me by my face and said "you glowin. you pregnant." and i didnt say anything and she let my face go and left my room. she went out the front door and she went down to alberto's down the street and she got drunk. she got so drunk. she was 15 when she had me, i was 15 then."
jaelicia put the lollipop in her mouth. she looked up at us. one hand was on her pregnant stomach.
"i didnt leave just yet. i waited for her to come back and when she did all she said was "you arent droppin out of school.""
bobby asked them how it happened. denise, a 16 year old who's baby had just been born, talked first.
"i met this guy, a gang banger i thought he was so fine, and i waited you know, i waited almost a year to sleep with him. and we always used condoms man, every time. but after a while you dont have one and you say, "well, oh well. this time." and after enough of those times, you will be pregnant." she stopped and nodded. "you will be pregnant."
jaelicia said, "everyone said they were doin it. i mean everyone! and everyone was all "its so good its the best thing ever." and my boyfriend had never done it either so we tried it since it was supposed to be so great." she put the lollipop back in her mouth and didnt look up.
karen, a 14 year old who was just beginning to show, rubbed the dune of her stomach with both hands and said in a tiny voice, "it aint so great."
jasmine shook her head. "it sure aint great enough for this." and made circles with her palms on her unborn child.
posted by Jessica Baxter | 7:42 PM
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