room was scarce in esther's heart

esther fell in love with everyone she met. she didnt know it as such, she only knew the tingle in the inside of her cheeks, the magnets in her feet keeping her near the person. she only knew the way they lingered in her thoughts, their words echoing in her head like the catchy chorus of a song, their faces floating in her dreams like ancient family photos, familiar and haunting.

she fell in love with the librarian because she had a huge bag of jellybeans under her desk and snuck them out one by one so secretively, like it was a crime, like it really was the worst thing she did all day.

she fell in love with her exboyfriend when, years after they had broken up, he took her hand on halloween and said "youre too hard on yourself."

she fell in love with naomi over and over again, every time her handwritten letters arrived in the mail, honest and grasping.

she fell in love with the man coming down the stairs as she was walking up, because as they passed he said "hi" like he didnt mean to but couldnt help it.

she fell in love with trevor because he went to specs every night and never drank, and because he sat with her in a windowsill and commented on her kneecaps.

she fell in love with the little girl crossing the street with a man so feeble he could barely walk, because she looked up at esther and smiled, unafraid.

she fell in love with the woman at the grocery store because she took minutes to help esther find a mango that would be so good she could taste india.

she fell in love with doug marsch because he walked out on stage and disappointed her, and it didnt bother him at all.

she fell in love with david because he fell in love with her.

she fell in love with her 6th grade writing teacher because he hated her favorite poem, "this is just to say" by william carlos williams, and he let her argue with him and make him laugh, and when she graduated six years later he gave her a tiny framed copy of it.

she fell in love with sarah becuase of the bags under her eyes that would appear only when she had gotten a lot of sleep the night before.

she fell in love with the boy at the party with the beard because he let her blow smoke in his face and told her that she took him to a place he had never been to before.

esther was waiting to meet someone who she could not fall in love with.